Tryptonphantastic

So I cooked for my whole family again this thanksgiving, my turkey was  something martha stewart only dreams about...what what

Obviously You're Not a Golfer

I always new there was something I liked about her, bowling shoes and a sparkly dress, full on girl crush

Oh Good Will Hunting

Thanks for our early morning pep talk in Mad Sq Park it was oodles of fun, liked the briefcase, can you come to work with me tomorrow, it will be super fun I promise, meet you in the park same time tomorrow!

Yeah I'm a loser, and totally star struck as usual, why oh why am I such a retard sucker for celebrities, le sigh

So I knew my salt addiction would catch up with me eventually

Yes yes I openly admit I have a salt addiction, I salt everything, legit everything, a fellow salt addict friend of mine who's name I won't name for the sake of anonymity even clued me into salting bread at a restaurant after you butter it....you must try so good....I draw the line at salting potato chips...but that's because I usually pick the salt and vinegar or salt and pepper variety, I get crazy stares when people in my cafeteria at work notice me grabbing 4 salt packets for one salad, I try to do it sneakily, but knew I had a problem when I started throwing extra un-used napkins on top of my garbage can to hide the number of salt packets I used at lunch, it was getting bad....but who would have known that I would draw the line and say that's it I must face and conquer my addiction tonight! Well it all started when I brought the salt shaker downstairs with dinner probably so I could re-salt my bowl of couscous halfway through (you have no idea how hard it is to salt the entire thing, damn near impossible); coming back upstairs post gossip girl I tried to grab everything I had brought down with me which included a laptop a plate a bowl and the salt shaker and various other things, as my mother would put it a lazy mans load sure to go badly. Well, how right she was.....standing in my bedroom, attempting to put down my laptop I felt something slip and then heard a sickening shatter, salt shaker + tile floor equals HUGE mess, took at least 30 mins to clean up and if you know me I'm super p-noid about stepping on glass ever since my incident with a 3 inch shard of glass from a broken champagne glass....so that's it.....I am giving salt the brush off.....at least for a few weeks, maybs I'll feel better, maybe this was fate's way of saving me from a life of high blood pressure later on, who knows, but I will learn to live a life without salt, oh this is going to be hard....wish me luck

Love Her

GaGampirate...Pretty Fucking Bavarious

Snarf snarf snarf just a preview kids just a preview....don't get too excited....I know you are chickens eating KFC....oh don't worry I'm just doing viral marketing for Purdue

Above the Knuckle Rings

So my dear friend Chrissy informed me that while in LF today she overheard some woman yammering on about digit rings, ugly name if you ask me, but my dear friends, who might I ask, who has been rocking above the knuckle rings for a least the past 3 months telling everyone she was making it a trend if it killed her, yeah that's right, this girl. I will provide photographic evidence soon I'm sure it exists somewhere in facebook land, this trend concept didn't always go over so well, i.e. last week when I announced the trend I intended to start Samanda Mintz likened it to camel toe, well, anyway, I am vindicated, above the knuckle is the way ahead, you heard it here first as in like three months ago, well not really here, but if you're a close friend I've been running my mouth about this for a while, and now I will shut up, trend created, VICTORY!