Yo kids, it's finally summer, officially, well two days ago but better late than never right? During this wonderful season my list of things to get accomplished usually consists of things like: wearing jorts as much as physically possible (though lets be serious I wear them year round with two pairs of tights in January); wearing my sunglasses at night, attending as many picnics in the park (which is basically just an excuse to drink wine and eat cheese in a park…score!!), and go to free concerts. However, when questioned recently about my summer plans the only thing I came up with was "Stay Cool" let's hope that wasn't taken figuratively since with plans like that lined up I pretty much have already failed. Either way the list below is what I say I'm going to get done every summer, and rarely get accomplished, but here's hopin'
1. Skydive: I've got it in my head that my completely irrational fear of heights can be conquered by jumping out of a plane. The rationale behind this being that I'm only afraid of tangible heights, tops of buildings, rickety rope bridges, you know things I encounter on a daily basis working in investment banking, thank god I didn't have a calling to build skyscrapers or guide people through the Amazon. Anyway, I've convinced myself that 10,000 feet will be so high that it won't inspire the same toe tingling paralyzing fear, yeah right, I'm gonna need a sedative to even consider letting them pry my bony fingers off the door frame and push me out, and to whoever is forced to do the tandem jump with me, I apologize in advance.
2. Read Infinite Jest (or Atlas Shrugged) or any book north of 1000 pages, somehow I think this will make me feel more accomplished, enlightened, superior, who knows, haven't gotten it done thus far and no inferiority complex has resulted so we'll just leave it…moving on
3. Organize a fishing trip, this is one I bandy about every year and then when Panda mentioned how fun she thought it would be I figured well heck if someone else thinks this could be fun why not try to plan it. Well this one has gotten off to a bit of a rough start I made a valiant effort to guage interest in such an event by sending an email (if you didn't get the look on that one and want to come just holler at me) , and was pleasantly surprised to find that a whole bunch of you want to go out and catch some stripers, guantlets were thrown, and pictures exchanged of previous fishing endevours, but it turns out we're all so goddamn popular (well in reality we're all just invited to so many weddings) that what was meant to be an early July trip is beginnging to look like it will take place in late August, but either way, fingers crossed I'll get that one off the list. I just sincerely hope this time I manage to make it back from City Island without being pulled off the train in Hunts Point (SCURRY) for drinking 40s on the subway, you can drink on the LIRR and Metro North, what makes the subway so different???
So that's basically it, I've come to grips with the fact that I will probably only cross one of those three off my list by the end of the summer, and it'll probably be getting pulled off a subway for drinking 40s, but whatever, I do what I can.