Hot Time Summer In the City

Yo kids, it's finally summer, officially, well two days ago but better late than never right? During this wonderful season my list of things to get accomplished usually consists of things like: wearing jorts as much as physically possible (though lets be serious I wear them year round with two pairs of tights in January); wearing my sunglasses at night, attending as many picnics in the park (which is basically just an excuse to drink wine and eat cheese in a park…score!!), and go to free concerts. However, when questioned recently about my summer plans the only thing I came up with was "Stay Cool" let's hope that wasn't taken figuratively since with plans like that lined up I pretty much have already failed. Either way the list below is what I say I'm going to get done every summer, and rarely get accomplished, but here's hopin'


1. Skydive: I've got it in my head that my completely irrational fear of heights can be conquered by jumping out of a plane. The rationale behind this being that I'm only afraid of tangible heights, tops of buildings, rickety rope bridges, you know things I encounter on a daily basis working in investment banking, thank god I didn't have a calling to build skyscrapers or guide people through the Amazon. Anyway, I've convinced myself that 10,000 feet will be so high that it won't inspire the same toe tingling paralyzing fear, yeah right, I'm gonna need a sedative to even consider letting them pry my bony fingers off the door frame and push me out, and to whoever is forced to do the tandem jump with me, I apologize in advance.

2. Read Infinite Jest (or Atlas Shrugged) or any book north of 1000 pages, somehow I think this will make me feel more accomplished, enlightened, superior, who knows, haven't gotten it done thus far and no inferiority complex has resulted so we'll just leave it…moving on

3. Organize a fishing trip, this is one I bandy about every year and then when Panda mentioned how fun she thought it would be I figured well heck if someone else thinks this could be fun why not try to plan it. Well this one has gotten off to a bit of a rough start I made a valiant effort to guage interest in such an event by sending an email (if you didn't get the look on that one and want to come just holler at me) , and was pleasantly surprised to find that a whole bunch of you want to go out and catch some stripers, guantlets were thrown, and pictures exchanged of previous fishing endevours, but it turns out we're all so goddamn popular (well in reality we're all just invited to so many weddings) that what was meant to be an early July trip is beginnging to look like it will take place in late August, but either way, fingers crossed I'll get that one off the list. I just sincerely hope this time I manage to make it back from City Island without being pulled off the train in Hunts Point (SCURRY) for drinking 40s on the subway, you can drink on the LIRR and Metro North, what makes the subway so different???

So that's basically it, I've come to grips with the fact that I will probably only cross one of those three off my list by the end of the summer, and it'll probably be getting pulled off a subway for drinking 40s, but whatever, I do what I can.

Zportz....

You know having reintroduced this whole "fitness" thing into my life lately I am beginning to really miss the sports I participated in as a kid/teen, horseback riding and rowing. Unfortch I do recall that neither of these activities were low cost even back in the day when I was doing them courtesy of Poppa Breen (thanks dad!!!), so currently it appears I have champagne taste with a beer..wait no make that sparkling water budget..this is a post about fitness after all and while occasionally I work out hungover/potentially still intoxicated from the night before, drinking and fitness are not usually a good mix. Either way I started to look around to see if there were any low cost options to get my fix for either sport, first up rowing, we live on a island surrounded by water how hard could it be to find a place to row? Well you'll be happy to know there is an option that's fairly low cost, for those of you who are particularly motivated morning people (not me) you can participate in an adult masters rowing class which makes use of the Columbia boat house and gets you out on the Hudson at the ungodly hour of 5:45 am, thank you no I'll pass. I justified said laziness by saying taking the subway up to Columbia at that time of morning couldn't possibly be safe, right?!?!? That and my germaphobia took over and envisioned my slightly out of practice self getting out on the extremely polluted Hudson and "catching a crab" (yes I know what you're thinking wow how germaphobic is she I know the Hudson is polluted but is is really possible to catch an STD just by rowing on it??) no that extremely pleasant term is what rowers use to describe dipping their oar a bit too deep which results in the oar coming back into your midsection quite forcefully which can actually knock you out of the boat, and based on my track record this would definitely happen, and I'm pretty sure I would catch something much worse swimming around in that water. Undeterred by my own laziness and germaphobia which nixed my first option I moved on, horseback riding, something that could certainly be done at a more normal time, however, horses not so common on the island of Manhattan unless I hi-jack one of the carriage horses in the park or a police horse, neither of which seems like a reasonable plan. And taking the train out to Long Island or New Jersey on a weekend to ride while it sounds nice I already mentioned my penchant for going out in past blogs, and as mentioned above, hungover/still drunk exercising is not a good plan especially when said activity involves a 1300 lb animal that's potentially jumping over things, so back to square one, looks like I'll have to stick with the extremely pedestrian running and yoga that I'm already doing, le sigh, need to find me a sugar daddy with a summer house and a pony.

P.S. I'm sorry for the generic picture above, mostly I couldn't resist because it reminded me of something you would find on a trapper keeper folder and I'm feeling all nostalgic. But thankfully most of my athletic pursuits took place before my parents adopted the use of digital cameras, so all of the pictures and hours of video of my riding lessons and shows are snugly packed away in my parents house and on VHS. Maybe one day I will recover a tape or two and buy a VCR (what are they like $5 now?) and we can have a double feature of my horse show days and Chrissy's appearance on TRL in a cowgirl costume, at least the horse theme will be consistent!



The Power Stick....

So some of you may remember about two years ago when I went totally crazy and got fully obsessed with running….doing 5-6 miles a day 6 days a week and crying if I missed it …mostly because it meant I had to reign in my calorie consumption for the day which is the main and only reason why I ever exercise…so I can eat more….because for anyone who knew me well this new habit seemed totally batshit because prior to this obsession I was a pretty sporadic gym-goer (at best) since my graduation from college. But for some reason that April basically overnight I decided to become a daily gym rat, waking up at 5:45 and at the gym by 6 every morning before work…and this went swimmingly until around mid October. Feeling particularly fit Chrissy and I joined a bootcamp which met in Washington Square Park two weeknights and early Saturday mornings (which to this day is the only time a homeless person has looked at me like I was the crazy one, doing squat thrusts and burpees and lugging huge water bottles around the park very early on freezing cold Saturday mornings when I had a perfectly nice bed I could still be sleeping in). At some point during the course of that bootcamp, though I can’t ever remember a point where I actually injured myself, my right hip began to ache…badly….but of course being crazy I told myself I could keep running through it because after a mile or so I got used to the pain…yeah you’re thinking…bad plan…and you’re right….it got to the point that I was forcing myself to run and then unable to walk normally…limping in pain…then running 6 miles…yeah where was my head??? Fast forward to me crying (literally this time) in the office of the head of orthopedic surgery at the now defunct St Vincent’s hospital as he read my MRIs…two tears in the cartilage around my right hip…no running and no physical activity other than physical therapy for at least 6 weeks…so I went and I went diligently and it took longer than 6 weeks but my hip healed…but of course it was now freezing cold out and I was used to sleeping in…and my routine was gone…I was still doing yoga and heading to the gym occasionally but nothing like what I had been doing, and when I tried to run every once in a while it was so hard and awful and I got into the mindset that I would only run when I had to i.e. if I was being chased by someone with a machete . And then at some point late this winter I got the itch to run again, and told myself ok I’m going to do this the right way…I joined New York Road Runners and signed up for their beginners running group, I went a stretched diligently and took things slow (I have a tendency to rush headlong into things which is a prime way to injure yourself) and things were going well…and I was starting to enjoy running again (not gonna lie the first 4 weeks were pretty miz running is a pretty unforgiving sport to get back into when your remember what you used to be capable of) and then it happened…I felt that familiar ache…that I can run through this it’s not so bad…and this time it wasn’t in my hip..which I had been so careful with…now my right Achilles has decided to join the pain party….either from overstretching or tight calves or just general lack of elasticity from wearing heels to much (which everyone knows I am guilty of…usually the north of 5 inches variety)…and I am beyond frustrated…I am finally starting to enjoy this again…but know deep down I should probably take a couple of days off to let this rest…and when I go out again it’s gonna be a struggle sigh. But my co-worker who runs a lot recommended “The Stick” pictured above…and it’s pretty funny…the options offered for the product which you pick using “The Stick Selector” include “The Big Stick”, “The Power Stick” or ”The Stiff Stick”  among many others…hmm wonder which “The Stick Selector” will select for me?? But I am willing to give it a shot…and let this thing heal…instead of running through the pain (which I did last night..stupid)….I am going to try my hardest not to get discouraged….anyone ever suffered from this…have any suggestions??

Diary of a "Skinny" Fat Kid

Ok so I have to be honest that last post about baking, yeah that didn’t happen, I was all hopeful that I could be one of those awesome bloggers that cooks and bakes and posts pictures and recipes and you go holy eff how do you eat all this delicious stuff you make, never talk about working out, but still look awesomez in every outfit you post (and somehow also has time to go to the flea market every Saturday and decoupage dressers and make DIY jewelry), but alas, I live in the city of indulgence where eating out 4 days a week is not at all uncommon and people go to brunch more religiously than any church. And staying in on a Friday night to try out baking a new type of olive oil cake, yeah not gonna happen, I’ll do that when I’m 90. So yeah I don’t really have the time to bake these days and with summer around the corner the only thing I will be cooking is healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Boring yes, but will I be happy that first day I have to put on a bathing suit, meh, probs not but at least I’ll feel like I put in a marginal effort. And it turns out I always forget to take pictures of the food while I’m cooking (well not forget I just am the type of person who attempts to clean up after myself while cooking so the kitchen is not a total disaster scene when I’m done and thus the times when I’m not actively chopping or sautéing or whatever is spent washing dishes or putting things away not snapping whimsical hipstamatic pictures) and let’s be serious I am a ravenous beast by the time I finish cooking and do not take the time to take pictures I just make my way from the kitchen to the couch as quickly as possible to start eating, so all I have are pictures of half eaten not nearly as pretty looking food, like this lovely half eaten pork chop that I posted above and sent a picture of to Alli face with the “recipe” (aint that a sexy pork chop)  food blogger I am not, but good cook, yeah I’m decent. I say recipe in quotes because I don’t really believe in them, I kind of just wing it, eyeball it, or when appropriate taste things till I get it to where I want it (obvious disclaimer since I apparently have an international readership beyond just my friends according to my stats, the tasting till it’s right does not apply to raw eggs, pork, chicken, etc, use your head I don’t want anyone coming down with trichinosis and blaming my blog). So either way don’t expect any cute pictures of profiteroles or cranberry raisin scones or anything any time soon, and I won’t bore you with posts about healthy food unless it’s like super delicious and tastes like it’s bad for you but it’s not, which are, by the way, my favorite types of foods, since at heart I am just a fat kid that wants to be skinny, I see a book deal in the works, Diary of Wannabe Skinny Fat Kid.

Clarissa...How One Woman Explained It Alll

This Malcom Gladwell Book Generator seriously made me laugh, while I do really like The Tipping Point I have to admit this is pretty funny, this is definitely the next book I am going to focus on reading, I really hope there are whole chapters dedicated to both Ferguson Darling and Sam.

When Life Hands You Meyer Lemons...Make Meyer Lemon Cake...duh

Ok so since moving into my new apartment I have really been keeping up with my plans to cook more for myself, now basically the only thing I order for delivery is sushi (since I cannot do it any sort of justice myself and really I think Hana makes my sushi on the way up the stairs to my apartment because it legit take 10 mins from when I put down my phone till they’re at my front door, hell it takes me practically 10 mins to make it up those 4 flights as it is without sushi knives, fish, wasabi, etc, so those dudes, I can’t compete). That being said I have been going to Trader Joe’s (seriously cannot get enough of that place) at least weekly and whipping up some delicious stuff (if I do say so myself), I’m even eating breakfast at home every day now so definitely saving some money and calories. However, as some of you might remember (though it’s been quite some time since this was regular practice) I am also a pretty good baker and used to at the very least whip up baked goods and bring them into my office or over to people’s houses about once or twice a month, well living in 1G, with Federico nipping at everything I made in the kitchen asking if I was “done with that” and being faced with potentially massive mountains of dishes that needed to be washed prior to even starting to bake rather put me off the whole endeavor, that and a friend this summer pretty much dared me to attempt to make his mother’s 8 (yes you read right 8) layer fudge cake in his kitchen rather than my own (baking away not a good plan) and with fairly questionable equipment and it was (I thought) a miserable failure, though he did eat the whole thing himself. However, with my new digs I have resolved to try to start baking at least once a month again; first up will be Meyer Lemon Olive Oil Cake with Homemade Crème Fraiche, mostly because I have all the ingredients (except for the Meyer Lemons which I have seriously been eyeing every time I’ve gone to Trader Joe’s recently) and it looks easy and really delicious, so get ready to eat kids, I’m off to Willams and Sonoma tonight (after spin class..see below) to get a few items I have found to be wanting in my kitchen

• Lemon Zester
• Mortar and Pestle
• Mandoline Slicer
• Meat Thermometer (after someone at 1G, still don't know who,put mine in the dishwasher which meat thermometers no like, they melt, but I'm over it I swear)
• Cake Plate (to store all of these baked goods I've convinced myself  I'm going to make)
Yes I am a dork, what normal 27 year old girl needs any kind of zester, perhaps I need more zester in my life in general, oh well, and thankfully this new plan also coincided with a recently renewed interest in going to the gym, so net net I think I’ll be A-OK.



My liver is nervous

Wow kids…if any of you are even still out there reading…I have been a bad bad blogger, I had been on a tear of blogging…inspired by Liz’s awkward promise to blog every day till Jan 31 or something which she sort of kept to….and then I just totes fell off the face of the earth…real (non interwebz) life has been cray cray hectic…though I can’t blame it on moving since that was like 2 months ago and I way wore out that excuse in every aspect of my life,  new excuse…I finally got an iPhone and angry birds has taken over all my free time…not so believable…hey (too bad it’s almost the truth) promise to get back on track…already have a blog post in mind for Monday…but cannot dedicate any brain cells or energy to writing that right now…conserving all of my energy for this weekends activities…which will kick off tonight with all you can drink/eat sushi and sake bombing…and I openly admit I’m old and nervous…and need to take a nap before hand…god I am an old woman….I should probably bring a sweater in case I get chilly…to think only last year I was seen at the now closed Cube 63 (tears) doing shots of red wine with abandon with the waiters while they played Shots Shots Shots on repeat while half the table wore matching neon snow hats purchased at none other than the epicenter of haute couture….Walgreens (excuse the blurry picture the waiters at Cube played Shots on repeat so many times our camera buckled under the peer pressure and got wasted too…that drunk fuck…falling down on the job)…and then our whole table got into a verbal brawl with the girls next to us….which resulted in us departing the restaurant only to have  Blair return…all old western gungslinger style…throw open the front door and pronounce at top volume….WHAT?!?!?...WHAT?!?!?....with Feddy in the background giving them the double middle finger salute…what a classy crowd this restaurant attracted…I have no idea why they closed.